


The Goodbye Song

by astarlightdaze



Series: The Goodbye Song [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jeremy's Not There, M/M, Michael's Not Happy, Songfic, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 09:53:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15555150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astarlightdaze/pseuds/astarlightdaze
Summary: Michael's had a rough night. He's always had his best friend Jeremy by his side, but that has changed. Michael is now completely, utterly alone.This is a songfic, inspired by (and written about) The Goodbye Song, specifically the Two Player Game version. George Salazar gives me emotions.I regret nothing.TW: Suicide.





	The Goodbye Song

**Author's Note:**

> If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, and/or other mental illness, you are not alone. Please contact someone if you are in danger, especially if the danger is yourself. You are loved and cared for, and deserve everyone in your life that is there for you.
> 
> The National Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255. It's 24/7. 
> 
> Please, if you need help, don't hesitate to call someone, anyone.

Michael stands outside his front door, wearing his red hoodie and distracting himself with the music blasting through his headphones, which are set firmly over his ears. His hands are shaking as he locks the door, wiping tears from his eyes as a new song begins to play.

 

_ The time has come. _

 

He steps away from the door. His family was asleep. He tried not to think about it. His mothers would wake up in the morning, happily making breakfast and singing random songs as they did each morning. His sister would wander out, complain about the noise but eat her breakfast anyway. They wouldn’t even notice Michael’s absence. At least, until someone came to wake him, finding a note in his place.

 

_ I’m flying away. _

 

Michael wipes his eyes again. He’s walking before he can even notice, trying to think of anyone that would actually care if he was gone.

 

_ Mouth is numb. _

 

Jeremy.

 

_ Heart don’t know what to say. _

 

Jeremy Heere, his best friend. The love of his life, despite the feelings being unrequited. Jeremy could never love him. Michael was a nerd, a geek- a total loser! His ‘best friend’ would probably move on within a few days. Michael paused to wipe his face again.

 

_ And although I’ll be out of sight, dear, _

 

Michael loved his best friend so much.

 

_ Know I’ll be right here, _

 

He only wished that he could be loved back.

 

_ Right here, forever, ever, ever, ever, _

 

Michael pulled his hoodie’s hood over his head, shoving his shaky hands into his pockets as he walked.

 

_ And when you look to the night sky, _

 

Jeremy would be okay. He’d be better off without Michael there to drag him down. He… He deserved better than Michael.

 

_ Don’t think of goodbyes. _

 

One foot in front of the other. Michael had a plan, a mission. Nothing could get in his way.

 

_ Think how I’m right here, ever, ever, ever. _

 

Michael tried to think about what would happen when he was gone. Nothing, he thinks bitterly. Nobody will care. They’ll forget about you.

 

_ Thank you for teaching me lessons. _

 

He remembers meeting Jeremy. They first met in kindergarten, two little kids, all alone with nobody to play with but each other.

 

_ Thank you for listening to mine. _

 

Jeremy had thought Michael was amazing. Michael wasn’t ashamed to say that Michael loved Jeremy just as much, if not more.

 

_ Man, you know how to ride a bike now. _

 

As they grew, they only became closer friends. When girls became gross, they avoided them together. When Christine Canigula tried to argue with Michael over cooties, Jeremy was there to protect him. When Jake Dillinger tried to fight Jeremy for offending his girlfriend, Michael was there to return the favor.

 

_ Don’t be scared, you’ll be fine. _

 

Michael was going to miss Jeremy, if there was an afterlife.

 

_ And although I’ll be out of sight, dear, _

 

He could always wait on Jeremy to catch up to him.

 

_ Know I’ll be right here, _

 

Jeremy would do the same for him, Michael realized, a sharp, emotional pain distracting him. He shook the feelings off.

 

_ Right here, _

 

Michael had something to do. He continued walking.

 

_ Forever, ever, ever, ever. _

 

Michael wondered if he’d be talked about. Jeremy’s old bully and new friend, Rich Goranski, had been talked about often when he set fire to Jake Dillinger’s house. But that was different.

 

_ And when you look to the night skies, _

 

Rich was popular. Everyone loved him.

 

_ Don’t think of goodbyes. _

 

Michael? He was nothing to the world. Nothing to his family. Jeremy.

 

_ Think how I’m right here, ever, ever, ever. _

 

The idea that Jeremy, his only friend, wouldn’t care… It only made Michael cry harder.

 

_ Come, _

 

Jeremy would laugh if he saw Michael like this. Maybe he’d even tease Michael, like his buddies did.

 

_ No, you can’t come with me. _

 

That would be impossible. Jeremy never seemed to see him, instead looking right past him, or, worse, through him.

 

_ Stay, _

 

Michael meant nothing to him. Michael meant nothing to the world, especially because Jeremy  **was** his world.

 

_ I wish I could. _

 

The universe was better off without him.

 

_ Goodbye, _

 

He didn’t deserve to exist.

 

_ I know it’s hard to say. _

 

He deserved to die, after all he’s done. He did everything wrong, fucked everything up.

 

_ Come, _

 

Michael was nearing his destination. He was close.

 

_ No, you can't come with me. _

 

Michael’s whole body was trembling now. It was dark, and every step Michael took was exhausting.

 

_ Stay, _

 

He wiped his eyes. His blurry, teary-eyed vision wasn’t helping him see.

 

_ I wish I could. _

 

Michael forced himself to keep moving. One foot after the other, left, right, left, right…

 

_ Goodbye, _

 

Michael wondered if anyone would attend his funeral.

 

_ I know it’s hard to say. _

 

Michael wondered if he would  **have** a funeral.

 

_ Ouch. _

 

He probably wouldn’t.

 

_ I know it hurts to say, I’d- _

 

After all he’s done, Michael didn’t think he deserved it.

 

_ I’d stay if I could. _

 

No, he  **knew**  he didn’t.

 

_ But the universe won’t let me. _

 

The bridge appeared in the distance. It was bigger than Michael remembered.

  
_ So please, be good. _ __  
  


Michael knew the time was coming.

 

_ And don’t you forget me. _

 

He knew what he was about to do.

 

_ And although I’ll be out of sight, dear, _

 

He knew that he was about to die.

 

_ Know I’ll be right here, _

 

He had so many regrets in life.

 

_ Right here, _

 

He had so few things to live for. He had so many to  **die**  for.

 

_ Forever, ever, ever, ever. _

 

He was on the bridge now, walking toward the middle of it. The highest point from the ground.

 

_ And when you look to the night skies, _

 

The water below the bridge was smooth tonight, the exact opposite of Michael’s mood.

 

_ Don’t think of goodbyes. _

 

Michael wasn’t sure how long he stood on the bridge, looking down at the water.

 

_ Think how I’m right here, ever, ever, ever. _

 

The water looks nice, Michael thinks.

 

_ And although I’ll be out of sight, dear, _

 

He almost feels bad that he will use it to kill himself.   
  


_ Know I’ll be right here, _

 

He almost regrets coming here, prepared with a plan.

 

_ Right here, _

 

Almost.

 

_ Forever, ever, ever, ever. _

 

Michael slowly slides one foot onto the bridge’s railing.

 

_ And when you look to the night skies, _

 

It’s ironic, Michael thinks as he climbs onto the railing, standing on it with both feet now.

 

_ Don’t think of goodbyes. _

 

This railing was to keep people from falling off.

 

_ Think how I’m right here, _

 

Michael was using it now to do the one thing it was to prevent.

 

_ Ever, _

 

The song currently playing in Michael’s headphones is nearing its end.

 

_ Ever, _

 

Michael’s eyes slip closed.

 

_ Ever, _

 

He takes a deep breath, instinctively in sync with the song.

 

_ Ever, _

 

Inhale. Exhale.

 

_ Ever, _

 

Michael’s song has only a few lines left, as Michael’s life has only a few moments.

 

_ Ever, _

 

As the song nears its end, Michael thinks of Jeremy.

 

_ Ever. _

 

And then, he falls.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, uh. This was really hard to write, especially due to my own depression and anxiety. The Goodbye Song gives me a lot to think about, and this was the result of me getting all that emotion out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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